Tuesday, April 25, 2017

A Broken Heart

A health scare. Every year my hero has a EKG to check his heart. You see his father died at 64 and his brother at 31 of a heart attack. Every time he had a test it came out fine. No signs of distress. That was until he was clearing to get out of the Army. I will give you the short version. We found out in January that he had a blockage. Two weeks ago he entered the hospital for a angiogram and we thought he would leave with stints. We left that day with scary news. They told us that he had 5 blockages. The plan leaving the hospital is that we would meet with the surgeon and schedule open heart surgery. Let me pause here and be selfish. For twenty-four years I have not slept well. I have had hundred of nights wondering if my hero would be alive when I woke up. Getting out of the Army was suppose to mean nights full of sleep. No more worries about him being with us. He is now out of the military and I still cannot sleep. It makes me angry. Angry is a understatement. I thought this was our time to relax and enjoy life. Except now I lay awake at night watching him sleep, I listen to his breathing. This week the decision was made to once again do a angiogram and place stints. My hero had two stints placed yesterday. He came home this morning. Two of the blockages cannot be stinted, one was not as bad as they thought. This is wonderful news. He is very excited because it means he can go back to the gym and to the chiropractor. He can now accept a job and continue his search. God's timing is always amazing to me. Why he chose to keep this heart issue from us until now is something I will never understand. But I am so grateful, grateful that the problems were found before they became worse. Grateful that it looks like he is healing nicely. Please continue to pray for our family as we decide what the next steps are for our family.

Monday, April 24, 2017

A Unexpected Life Change

So much has gone on recently and I want to tell you about all of it. It will take a book to tell you everything. So lets see, what should we talk about first. Let's talk about life outside of the military. Our official last day is April 29. Technically today is the last day my hero could have said I have changed my mind and want to stay in. That decision was easy for him. He is ready to be out. I do not blame him. He served for 24 years. Sadly, life is not going as we had planned. First, the plan was that he would be able to start a civilian government job in March. That was until the 180 day rule was put back into place. Basically it says that any service member who gets out of the military cannot hold a government job for 180 days. Let me give you my opinion. THIS IS STUPID AND DISRESPECTFUL, you see in February he was in Israel and could have died for his country but in March he is not good enough to work for his country. So now he looks for a job. There is a couple of problems with that. You see companies look at how much money he made in the Army and do not want to interview because they cannot match that amount. He has lots of training. He has driven vehicles that in the civilian world would require a CDL license but not in the military. So what does the future hold. We do not know. He is applying for jobs. We are praying that Mr. Trump says the 180 day rule is no longer in effect. I could choose to be angry over all of this but I am not. You see God is in control. He knows what we need and when we need it. And right now he knows I need my husband home. He has had some health issues that needed to be worked out. I am grateful that he is home to take care of these and has not started a new job. It would not look good to ask off for all of these appointments early in a new job. Do you need a laugh? The other day my hero had a appointment with a job interview a hour later. I told him he could just drop me off at Sam's. I was honestly looking forward to it. I rarely go to Sam's Club without kids. In my mind he would be gone a hour. Seriously, how long is a job interview? His interview was over two hours long. At one point employees found me setting on the outdoor furniture under a canopy that was for sale. I felt like the girl out of that movie. You know the one who was left at Walmart and delivered a baby. That was me. I will update on his health soon. It is all good and God has worked it out for his good.

A Better Day

Last Sunday was not a good day. This Sunday was amazing. I woke up showered and did my annual shave. Don't laugh we all know we can relax in the winter.  When I came downstairs my amazing husband had breakfast made. 

We all ate breakfast. Two boys were dressed for church. No crying just dressed. My college boy was up and dressed, 

We went to church where I set next to my hero. After church we came home. I ate chocolate cheesecake a friend gave me. Then relaxed in front of Netflix. While I relaxed my hero and Jacob went fishing. 

Before I went back to church I took Grace to good will. Church was amazing. It was more of a Bible Study. I love our new pastor and his style of preaching. 

After church I stood in the parking lot for almost two hours and chatted with another mom. That in itself filled my love tank. 

I am so grateful for a day to relax and just be together. 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Working Together 

My husband and daughter are amazing. This weekend we had a over lap of shows. So my amazing daughter and husband did two shows on there own and they rocked it. I am so grateful for family who are willing to pull together for our small business and help out. And look at that beautiful girl back at shows. I have missed her being with me. 

Friday, April 21, 2017

Another Crazy Day

This week has been crazy. Actually the whole month has been crazy. My husband would deny this but his memory has not been the same for the last six months. I asked him to take my daughter to the orthodontist. He has taken her many times. I have a husband who can remember directions to anywhere. I was shocked when he called me ten minutes after he left to ask for directions on how to get to the orthodontist. This is where my day goes a little crazy. Twenty minutes later my hero called me to ask me to look for his keys. Okay I am going to bullet point again because I do not even know how to explain this. *my hero calls me to ask me to look for his truck keys *I need him to explain how he drove without his keys; I did not know that was possible *the girls and I spent 20 minutes searching the house, the driveway and the trash for his keys. At some point that morning he had cleaned out his truck so he had no idea where they would be. *I told him I would bring him his spare keys. This is where I should mention that he has a wand that turns on the alarm in his truck. *as I pull out of the driveway onto the main road I see his keys. They had flown off the back of his truck. I actually only found his keychain, part of his wand and a couple spare keys *so I take him the spare key from the house. This is where I explain that I do not enjoy driving especially in construction. But I did it, I was not annoyed at him because we all make mistakes and it was honestly almost comical. *I arrive at the orthodontist and he said the piece of the wand I found would not work. So I offer him his spare (he can bypass the alarm). That’s when he looks at me and says…… *he says, I do not need the spare, I had a spare in my truck. YOU HAD WHAT, WHY AM I HERE *he said, I told you I only needed you to come if you had the wand. Pretty sure that was not said *at this point I decide I am going to do a facebook live video. I have done live videos before but never shown my face. I honestly am not okay with my appearance right now. So I start the video, I am laughing about my morning. That’s when my hero walks back to my car and…. *starts screaming at me about how I did not have to drive down and he did not tell me to come down. I love this man but I think the stress of the last week had gotten to him. He does not scream at me daily. This is where I ask you to pray for him. Between getting out of the Army, looking for a job, having heart surgery and general life he has been under a lot of stress.
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