Not me Monday

I did not look forward to my husband going away for the week because it meant I got the bed to myself, a soldiers wife enjoys every night she gets with said soldier.
I am not making a mega long list of things for my soldier to do in case he gets time off before he deploys. I would never do this because I know we should spend our time doing things like playing games and enjoying ourselves.
I am not setting here writing this during the time I am suppose to be reading with my daughter. Not me because I am a awesome homeschool mom.
I did not fuss at my daughter for wearing her sisters under garments for several days. Each day she would cry and tell me it was size 6, before realizing that my youngest and oldest both wear size 6. Not me, I would realize they have size 6 children and size 6 adult under garments.
I did not have a royal pity party with myself on my birthday because my hero is a crappy giver. I would never do this because really it is a birthday not the end of the world and I have known for 16 years that he is a poor giver.
Pamela

Not me Monday

Not me Monday. Wow May is gone and my June is filling up. This week was wonderful.
This week my two middle daughters did not share a potty instead of taking turns. Not my daughters they know better. And then they would not lie about who actually went to the bathroom so the youngest could get a treat.
It was not me who refused to write a response back to a person who wrote negative comments on my blog but then stayed up late stressing about what others think of me.
It was not me who jumped on a trampoline and then allowed myself to squeal like a child while doing so. It was not me who did this knowing my neighbors saw me. It was not me who totally wants to be on the trampoline again.
It is not me who cried for three hours straight this week and is not really sure what about. I have my act together better than that.

Not me Monday

What a week. It has been such a blur that I did not even keep a list to post this week. I do remember a few like how I did not wait until the last minute to go to the restroom and have to leave the store in a hurry confusing my daughters so I could go potty. I know how important it is to not do this to your body and would never wait this long.
Speaking of bathroom talk it is not me who is totally contemplating doing a whole blog post on my new love. What is that new love, it is

But then again I know that is probably a little too much information to discuss.
It was not me who after roasting because I am too cheap to turn on my air conditioner who then left her oven on ALL day by accident. I of course make sure I check the oven when I am done cooking.
Because my husband is deployed to a war zone it was not my husband whose last words to me this week were not things like “can’t hold it anymore, gotta go” or
“my final words to you are I love you”. He would never say can’t hold it anymore because he too had waited to long to go to the restroom. After seven deployments he most definitely knows to make his final words count. It was not me who spent hours thinking about this.
It was not me who first refused to touch the kittens out of fear and then got too hand friendly and made mama cat so mad she has hidden her kittens. I knew better and would never have done this. It is also not me who runs to look at these precious babies every time mama cat is out of the room.
I hope you enjoyed this Not Me Monday. I do want to take a minute to say thank you to MckMama for doing this blog carnival. But I also want to thank her for the wonderful video we won on her blog. My children have enjoyed watching Craniums Ark on my laptop several times.

Not me Monday

Not me Monday was started by MckMama and I really enjoy it. I keep a running list in my phone or I promise I will forget it. But this week I am not going to say things like My daughter did not spit the potato salad back into the bowl that we were serving guest out of because well I am just too tired. I am going to pretend that we skipped a day last week and that day went something like this.
We did not have a emotional rollercoaster everyday thinking it was the day that my hero would deploy to the point of forgetting to tell the kids when we found out the last time.

I did not watch my husband pack all week and make sure everything was fixed around the house and make sure the power of attorney was up to date. My children did not wake up daily saying is dad at work for the day or is this the long time work. I did not invite friends over for the evening before he left because then it would not feel like he was leaving. I did not forget until the last minute to even ask what unit he was in. Come on he has been in 16 years I know how to do these things. I did not watch my husband empty his stuff out of the bathroom so it looks empty, I did not watch him put away his laundry and think maybe he should just leave it laying out.
The army did not make us arrive at 2:30AM to drop him off and then set for a hour and a half for his bus to get there. I did not take pictures of that bus that was taking away my husband. I did not feel my husband have that jittery sleep the night before he left. You know that I am having dreams jittery sleep and lay there and want to hug my hero tight and tell him he is safe in my arms and in his bed. My 4 year old did not say to us on the way to drop off my hero “mommy my life is tore up but do not worry I can get another one”. She also did not say, Daddy I saw all your army stuff in the back of the van and that is just cool. When we stopped at the store to use the ATM and when we went through the gate they did not say “have a wonderful day”. Could they not tell my hero was leaving and it could not be a good day. I was not tempted to do the whole fall on my knees and hold tight to my husbands legs and refuse to let him leave this time. Luckily my children was there to keep me acting right. I did not turn the music up in my van as loud as it would go on the way home so that my children would not hear me crying. I do not feel like I am keeping a secret because only 3 people at church know my husband is gone. My husband did not say it feels weird deploying without a gun. Why did he have to remind me he will be carrying a gun. I mean I know he carries a gun, probably more than one gun but I like to lie to myself, I like to make jokes and say he is playing in the sandbox, he is on vacation. Anything to hide what my real feelings are. I did not spend hours on this day reminding myself to breathe even when I could not swallow or think.
My daughter did not think that we live in Iraq and dad was going back to AL and could visit with the dog we left behind (well with someone not like left). My children always know where they are living and where there dad is going.
I am also not going to climb into the bed alone again tonight. I did not go to church this morning alone and set there like everything was completely normal. I will not wake up in the morning and go through all the normal part of the day like dishes and laundry and school and then put my children in bed as if something is normal.I do not hit the new normal faster and faster with each deployment.
This last picture is of this morning, at church like nothing has changed in our day.