The day i lost a child

It was my first time taking all six kids on a trip overnight by myself. I was pumped. I can do this, my big kids help and I can do this. I love my life and I can do this. We make the drive; it was only 4.5 hours away. Check into the hotel, visit family, go swimming and drive back to the hotel. Within 20 minutes of entering the hotel room everyone knew where they were sleeping and was asleep. I thought man we should all sleep this close every night. The first night the baby slept in the floor on a mattress. He woke up crying. When I went to find him he was gone but I heard his crying. He had scooted beside a bed and was angled in a way that was uncomfortable. A couple of nights later he was again sleeping on the mattress. Well I woke up at 4:45am and covered up all the kids. Only the baby was gone. The curtain was partially open so I thought maybe he was back into that spot again but he was not. I looked all over and he was nowhere to be found. I looked under tables and chairs and still no baby. I was in panic mode. No idea where he was, all those horror movie played through my head. I seriously was freaking out (in the maybe 45 seconds it took me to look everywhere). I walked back into the other room (we were in a suite) and noticed Jason did not have a blanket so I covered him up again. Well inside his blanket was a tiny little body. I guess he decided he wanted to sleep in bed with Jason and Michael. I almost cried when I found him. The funny thing is that he is a cuddle bug all day and lives for being held and snuggled. But when he is sleeping he does not like to be covered up or touched. Overall it was an amazing weekend and I would not have changed it for anything.

Pamela