Not me Monday

This week it was not me who got to PWOC (protestant women of the chapel) and left because I was having issues and was irritable. Not me because I would never waste the time loading the kids up, driving 30 minutes unload them and then change my mind.
It was not my mom who called me and said she heard my uncle was arrested for being the wolverine robber in our home town. It was a mistake and it was not him. I would never have believed her because it would not be my family to be involved in something so ridiculous.
I also did not find an old boyfriends mug shot and a cousins mug shot picture when looking for my uncles on line. Surely everyone I know is walking the straight and narrow.
My son does not have a room that reeks (is that a word) how about a room that stinks so badly you can spell it a mile away. This may or may not have something to do with the fact that he left wet shorts from the beach in his dresser drawer for weeks.
It is not me who is typing this while looking at FOUR (maybe TEN) loads of laundry that needs folded and put away.
It is not my family that is so big with so many runny noses and coughs that my husband insists we buy double the normal amount of allergy medicine so we were not going back this week.
I am an amazing mother and teach my children to share with their whole heart. So it is not me who has a jumbo box of pumpkin poptarts hidden in a basket in my kitchen just for me.
Pamela