A Broken Heart

A health scare. Every year my hero has a EKG to check his heart. You see his father died at 64 and his brother at 31 of a heart attack. Every time he had a test it came out fine. No signs of distress. That was until he was clearing to get out of the Army. I will give you the short version. We found out in January that he had a blockage. Two weeks ago he entered the hospital for a angiogram and we thought he would leave with stints. We left that day with scary news. They told us that he had 5 blockages. The plan leaving the hospital is that we would meet with the surgeon and schedule open heart surgery. Let me pause here and be selfish. For twenty-four years I have not slept well. I have had hundred of nights wondering if my hero would be alive when I woke up. Getting out of the Army was suppose to mean nights full of sleep. No more worries about him being with us. He is now out of the military and I still cannot sleep. It makes me angry. Angry is a understatement. I thought this was our time to relax and enjoy life. Except now I lay awake at night watching him sleep, I listen to his breathing. This week the decision was made to once again do a angiogram and place stints. My hero had two stints placed yesterday. He came home this morning. Two of the blockages cannot be stinted, one was not as bad as they thought. This is wonderful news. He is very excited because it means he can go back to the gym and to the chiropractor. He can now accept a job and continue his search. God's timing is always amazing to me. Why he chose to keep this heart issue from us until now is something I will never understand. But I am so grateful, grateful that the problems were found before they became worse. Grateful that it looks like he is healing nicely. Please continue to pray for our family as we decide what the next steps are for our family.

A Unexpected Life Change

So much has gone on recently and I want to tell you about all of it. It will take a book to tell you everything. So lets see, what should we talk about first. Let's talk about life outside of the military. Our official last day is April 29. Technically today is the last day my hero could have said I have changed my mind and want to stay in. That decision was easy for him. He is ready to be out. I do not blame him. He served for 24 years. Sadly, life is not going as we had planned. First, the plan was that he would be able to start a civilian government job in March. That was until the 180 day rule was put back into place. Basically it says that any service member who gets out of the military cannot hold a government job for 180 days. Let me give you my opinion. THIS IS STUPID AND DISRESPECTFUL, you see in February he was in Israel and could have died for his country but in March he is not good enough to work for his country. So now he looks for a job. There is a couple of problems with that. You see companies look at how much money he made in the Army and do not want to interview because they cannot match that amount. He has lots of training. He has driven vehicles that in the civilian world would require a CDL license but not in the military. So what does the future hold. We do not know. He is applying for jobs. We are praying that Mr. Trump says the 180 day rule is no longer in effect. I could choose to be angry over all of this but I am not. You see God is in control. He knows what we need and when we need it. And right now he knows I need my husband home. He has had some health issues that needed to be worked out. I am grateful that he is home to take care of these and has not started a new job. It would not look good to ask off for all of these appointments early in a new job. Do you need a laugh? The other day my hero had a appointment with a job interview a hour later. I told him he could just drop me off at Sam's. I was honestly looking forward to it. I rarely go to Sam's Club without kids. In my mind he would be gone a hour. Seriously, how long is a job interview? His interview was over two hours long. At one point employees found me setting on the outdoor furniture under a canopy that was for sale. I felt like the girl out of that movie. You know the one who was left at Walmart and delivered a baby. That was me. I will update on his health soon. It is all good and God has worked it out for his good.

A Better Day

Last Sunday was not a good day. This Sunday was amazing. I woke up showered and did my annual shave. Don't laugh we all know we can relax in the winter.  When I came downstairs my amazing husband had breakfast made. 

We all ate breakfast. Two boys were dressed for church. No crying just dressed. My college boy was up and dressed, 

We went to church where I set next to my hero. After church we came home. I ate chocolate cheesecake a friend gave me. Then relaxed in front of Netflix. While I relaxed my hero and Jacob went fishing. 

Before I went back to church I took Grace to good will. Church was amazing. It was more of a Bible Study. I love our new pastor and his style of preaching. 

After church I stood in the parking lot for almost two hours and chatted with another mom. That in itself filled my love tank. 

I am so grateful for a day to relax and just be together. 

Working Together

My husband and daughter are amazing. This weekend we had a over lap of shows. So my amazing daughter and husband did two shows on there own and they rocked it. I am so grateful for family who are willing to pull together for our small business and help out. And look at that beautiful girl back at shows. I have missed her being with me. 

Another Crazy Day

This week has been crazy. Actually the whole month has been crazy. My husband would deny this but his memory has not been the same for the last six months. I asked him to take my daughter to the orthodontist. He has taken her many times. I have a husband who can remember directions to anywhere. I was shocked when he called me ten minutes after he left to ask for directions on how to get to the orthodontist. This is where my day goes a little crazy. Twenty minutes later my hero called me to ask me to look for his keys. Okay I am going to bullet point again because I do not even know how to explain this. *my hero calls me to ask me to look for his truck keys *I need him to explain how he drove without his keys; I did not know that was possible *the girls and I spent 20 minutes searching the house, the driveway and the trash for his keys. At some point that morning he had cleaned out his truck so he had no idea where they would be. *I told him I would bring him his spare keys. This is where I should mention that he has a wand that turns on the alarm in his truck. *as I pull out of the driveway onto the main road I see his keys. They had flown off the back of his truck. I actually only found his keychain, part of his wand and a couple spare keys *so I take him the spare key from the house. This is where I explain that I do not enjoy driving especially in construction. But I did it, I was not annoyed at him because we all make mistakes and it was honestly almost comical. *I arrive at the orthodontist and he said the piece of the wand I found would not work. So I offer him his spare (he can bypass the alarm). That’s when he looks at me and says…… *he says, I do not need the spare, I had a spare in my truck. YOU HAD WHAT, WHY AM I HERE *he said, I told you I only needed you to come if you had the wand. Pretty sure that was not said *at this point I decide I am going to do a facebook live video. I have done live videos before but never shown my face. I honestly am not okay with my appearance right now. So I start the video, I am laughing about my morning. That’s when my hero walks back to my car and…. *starts screaming at me about how I did not have to drive down and he did not tell me to come down. I love this man but I think the stress of the last week had gotten to him. He does not scream at me daily. This is where I ask you to pray for him. Between getting out of the Army, looking for a job, having heart surgery and general life he has been under a lot of stress.

What a Day!!

What a day!!! I do not even know how to explain my days sometimes. I swear we should have a camera crew following us. I am going to share the first few hours of my day so you can laugh. It was Easter morning. I knew I would not be going to church because my husband was released from the hospital the day before and I would not leave him. So I woke up at 4:30, yes AM and woke the girls to take care of animals. While they did morning chores I made two egg casseroles for the potluck at church. When the casseroles were done I drove the girls to church. I took our son with us. On the way to church he asked why he could not stay at church with the girls. I explained that for the last month he has hidden after church and not come to us. Because of this I could not allow the girls to be responsible for him. That set him off. This is where I am going to stop writing in paragraph form and hope you are not too offended by my lack of grammar. So just laugh or cry with me as you read the rest of my morning. *after we dropped off the girls my son asked to stop for breakfast. We stopped for donuts, while at the donut shop the child kept mumbling. I asked what he wanted and he continued to mumble. So I paid for our stuff and we left. * I am going to be honest; I was feeling pretty wimpy on the way home. You see my college son was still home in bed. I did not mind missing church to care for my husband but if my son was home he could have cared for my husband and I could have gone to church. So I turned up my praise music and decided to just get over myself. Just as I was starting to feel better about my day a little voice from the back seat said “can you turn off the ruckus”. EXCUSE ME and he repeated it. I did not lose it on him. I turned my praise music up and continued to drive home. *when we arrived home I informed said child that we would not be watching TV because we needed less ruckus. This set off WW3. He decided to scream and jump and tell me he was waking everyone up. Needless to say my morning was stressing me. I finally thought I could breathe and ate a donut and started to relax. That is when….. *That is when I heard my husband scream, a panicked scream. I went running up the stairs. He thought for sure he was bleeding out. You see he did not remember the doctor saying he would bruise. He did not bruise the first time he had this procedure. He only remembered that he needed to watch for internal and external bleeding. I instantly had him lay down and called 911. We eventually realized that what he was feeling was pressure. The pressure was a combination of swelling and needing to urinate. It did not help that our three year kicked him which is what woke him up. This is where I am going to be honest. Once I knew he was not bleeding externally and there was nothing I could do but wait for the ambulance I went into a different mode. I realized how messy the hallway looked. I was chucking things in rooms and shutting doors. I was cursing my daughters because I realized you could not walk through the upstairs bathroom. This is common after three girls shower and get ready for church. I was just praying they did not want to take him into the upstairs bathroom. *The ambulance left after he signed a refusal of treatment form. I am so glad he was/is okay. *my college son woke up in the middle of all this. Jacob on the other hand did not realize that 6 EMT’s were five feet from his head. So Michael left for church. You would think life would slow down. *I made Rob breakfast, cleaned out the fridge, straightened the kitchen, then sat down to check on Rob *just then the college boy called to say he got sick at church and was coming home *when Michael got home I needed to leave to pick up the girls. As I am walking out the door I realize that my three and six year old had spilt strawberry powder all over the kitchen and were now rolling in it and using it like sand. I would like to complain and say the day was a complete waist and cry. But you know what? I have all my children home, my husband is alive and home with me. I had time to remember that while my day started crazy no one was beating me, no one was denying my existence; I am not dying so others can live. That is what Easter is about; it is about remember what Jesus did for us. I do not think I will ever be able to wrap my head around the pain he went through for me or how I will ever be worthy of his forgiveness.

Saying Good-bye

This week we sold four of our babies. I knew we could not keep them but it is always hard to let them go. 

This picture cracks me up. The babies have to be on their knees to nurse. Reminds me off a toddler hanging upside down to nurse. 

My Baby Boy

Oh baby boy please slow down and don't grow up. I love you so much. I love how you still need me to go to sleep. I love how you give me morning kisses and snuggles each morning. Please do not grow up, please stay my baby boy. 

Petrie Soaps and Stuff

I feel like life has been crazy the last few weeks. We are trying to stock up and prepare for our summer farmers omarket. This year we are doing two. I am really excited about this but it means I need to be working ahead. Did you know that you do not have to come to a market or craft show to purchase our soaps. You can always order right from our Petrie Soaps facebook page. We are working on our Mother's Day Specials right now.

Happy Birthday

This little boy is turning seven in a couple of weeks. I am not ready. This is my snuggle buggie. He was so small when he joined our family. Not walking and hardly talking.  He randomly shook. We had so many appointments to figure out what caused what looked like seizures. We never found out what was going on. We think it as stress. Occasionally his little hands will tremble when he is nervous. It is nothing a little snuggle can't fix. 

I remember the first time he called me momma. Oh what a privilege it is to be his momma. I will never take for granted that his birth momma is giving me this privilege. I will never take for granted the minutes that God has given with me. 

James has a smile that helps him get away with more than he should. He is so smart but he does not want others to know just how smart he is because then they would not baby him as much. 

Happy birthday baby boy, I love you!

House Pets

What pets do you have in your house? We keep our dogs in the house. We also have two cats and a bunny that lives inside. Some days we have a baby goat come in to visit. This little baby is not able to be with her momma so she gets lots of loving from us.  Yes that is a baby goat on our couch. I would not want it any other way. 

Goat Shows

Have you ever been to a goat show? It is a show where your children take snacks and drink from the house and sell them back to you in your back yard. My girls love teaching the girls new tricks. And Jason loves selling me bottles of water. 

Selfies

What was life like before selfies? I honestly love looking back and seeing all the pictures the kids have left on my phone. 

My Tongue Hurts

Sometimes I have to bite my tongue. This week my tongue almost has holes in it from bitting it so much.    After my husband signed out of the Army we jumped in the car to get home. He drove home in his uniform. When we stopped for gas someone (okay a guy walking his dog) decided to scream foul language at my husband and telling him the war is over. My hero kept his cool.  This morning we had our taxes done. The lady preparing our taxes asked if we still had all those kids. Hmm, I never knew getting rid of them was a option. Then she told me that she knows someone who has ten kids and they HOMESCHOOL. I told her we homeschool but I don't think she cared. She told me that she would send all the kids to school. I did not respond. I wanted to but I did not.   I am hoping tomorrow is a better day and that my poor tongue has time to heal. 

What a Day

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!!?!?....grrr

Today I went to the grocery store and while at the checkout I dropped a $20 bill... the lady in front of me picked it up... I thanked her and told her that it was mine and she said "The things found on earth are kept by the collector" and walks away... I looked at the cashier who is as amazed as me and, in a loud voice, I say to the lady, "is this some kind of joke?! Give me back my $20!" I followed her into the parking lot, still shouting, but she would not stop.... When she got to her car, she put her shopping bags on the ground to open her car door. So I ran up, grabbed the bags and ran off yelling "The things found on earth are kept by the collector!!" I went home nervous, shaken and agitated because I've never stolen anything in my life, I opened her bags...and what did I find inside?????????????

NOTHING BC THIS IS A JOKE TO SEE WHO READS THE WHOLE THING.

Spring has Sprung

I always know when spring is close because it means we spend nights sleeping in the basement. When it was over I came upstairs to the couch but left the boys sleeping.  They woke up at 3am and went back to bed. This morning they woke up and told me they had the same dream. They both dreamed that I slept with them in the basement.  I love these boys.