Friday, October 29, 2010

5 Question Friday

1. If you could be a fly on any wall, which would you choose? which wall, my husbands work. I am a little (okay more than alot) annoyed by them and I would love to be able to be a fly on the wall just to annoy them. Wow, can not believe I wrote that

2. Do you budget your Christmas shopping or just get it done without budgeting? just get it done but I do start shopping months ahead of time and that way it does not hit us all at once

3. What is the craziest fad diet you have ever done? I guess that is pretty simple I just stopped eating, I was anerexic. Then they put me on a milk shake diet. I had to drink one milk shake every night at 8pm in front of my mom

4. Is there a TV show that you have seen every episode/season of? Little House on the Priarie and 7th Heaven. Love them!!

5. What one song always pulls at your heart? amazing Grace. It seems like no matter where I am in life that song brings me peace.
and when my husband is deployed and this song comes on the radio I turn it up as loud as it will go and sing as loud as I can.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Thursday 5

Happy- I am so Happy that I have found a good doctor (okay a PA) who spent 45 minutes talking to me this evening. How amazing to have more than 2 minutes alone

giddy- that I still get to go to bed tonight with my hero, I am so grateful he is home with us

Joy- this week we have 2 birthdays, my hero's birthday and Hope's 8th birthday

glee- the thought that all my baby girl (okay almost 8 year old) wants for her birthday is daddy to take her fishing.

thankful-I am thankful for the friends in my life who listen when I need to talk, who tell me like it is when I am wrong or say something wrong and hug me when I need it

I have been making camera strap covers and really enjoying it. I would like to change them up a little and add a ruffle to the back. If you would like to see more of the camera strap covers just click here.

For the Joy of it

For the Joy of it:
1. Today I will wake up with a good mood
2. Today I will not feel guilt for having a mountain dew to start my morning
3. Today I will take the time to enjoy my husband and remember he is my spouse not just my business partner
4. Today I will allow my children a few more minutes of quiet time with mom because they are growing up quickly
5. Today I will pick up the new Beth Moore and start reading it

Good, True & Beautiful

thrifty home

I have been using homemade dishwasher soap for over a year now and love it. The recipe is here I do not always add the citric acid because I have a hard time finding it. I also only add half the lemonade if I am making a larger batch because it tends to harden up if we do. It is easy to break up if it clumps up.
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Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pumpkin Patch cake

Honestly this was my husbands idea. First we have not been to a pumpkin patch this year but here are some pictures from last year. The directions for our pumpkin patch cake can be found here. Cast Party Wednesday


This week I have so much to be grateful for. I am grateful for my blog friend who sent me this amazing piggy bank and keychain all the way from Japan. It will work great with something I want to do with my children soon. I love it. I am also grateful for the leaders of American Heritage Girls who took my daughter camping this weekend and gave her memories that will last a lifetime



•3 tablespoons butter or margarine
•4 cups miniature marshmallows
•1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
•1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
•5 cups rice cereal
•1 cup candy corn; divided use
•Halloween sprinkles

1.Line a 9 x 13-inch baking sheet with aluminum foil or parchment paper and spray with non-stick cooking spray.
2.In large saucepan, melt butter over low heat and stir in pumpkin pie spice; add marshmallows and stir until completely melted; remove from heat and stir in the vanilla.
3.Add rice cereal and stir until well coated; fold in 3/4 cup candy corn. (It helps to spray your stirring spoon with non-stick cooking spray.)
4.Using a spatula sprayed with non-stick cooking spray, press the mixture into the prepared pan. Press remaining 1/4 cup candy corn into the top of the rice cereal bars and top with Halloween sprinkles. Cool for 2 hours and cut into 18 bars.

I got this recipe from She knows It has just enough pumpkin taste to make it yummy.
Tempt my Tummy Tuesdays

Monday, October 25, 2010

Military Monday

Military Mondays Family and Spouse Carnival at Army Wives' Lives

No new update in our military life. Except that if Rob can get his physical scheduled he will leave for Airborne school November 19th. I hope he gets it done because frankly I am so tired of our life being about Airborne school. If he goes on November 19th that means he will of course miss my birthday AGAIN. But that is okay if that means we will no longer have to talk about it and the extra money in our paycheck will be nice.

miscellany Monday

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters
1. This weekend my baby girl went on her first campout without her family. She had a amazing time and wanted to go back the next day. I am so grateful for American Heritage Girls
2. My daughter turns 8 this week and my husband turns 39 years old. Although for 2 years I have thought he was turning 40. I think I need help
3. We did not go to awana or small group last night because after Faith camping out and my boys camping with boy scouts they were all exhausted.
4. This is the last week Michael has to sell Boy Scout popcorn and collect money to send popcorn to troops and we have done poorly and I feel bad.
5. My girls are doing their first fundraiser and I feel so bad that we have really not sold any. It is bad when you are not involved in the community and have no family close. I hear they taste amazing.
Today is Monday and my house is a mess. But that is okay it is 8am and I already have 2 children doing school and the laundry is already folded and waiting to be put away

Friday, October 22, 2010

A letter to daddy

This has to be one of the scariest things for me. To actually write on my blog has been a goal since I started. But I am not a writer. Oh sure I can write my husband an 8 page letter in a minute but then if I get into the there and theirs I am toast. And after being bashed on my blog for my grammar before it is scary but here goes.
My topic is: spending the afternoon talking to someone who is dead. This was a hard choice.
Today I would choose my dad. My dad will be dead 8 years next week and I miss him more than anyone will understand. You see my dad was not around when I was a child. I was in touch with his mom and sister but not him. When I was in high school we started talking again. By the time I had my first son we were best friends. We talked all the time and I loved him more than anything. He is the best man in the world.
If I had an afternoon to talk with him (which sadly my dad is hell and it will never happen, WOW, never let that enter my mind again). If he was alive and we had the time to talk I would surely try to change that.
If he was dead and we could talk: I would tell him about the baby girl who was born 36 hours after his death. I would beg his forgiveness for not being at his funeral. I would hug him. My dad was strong and made me feel safe. No one makes me feel the way my daddy does. I love my daddy. I would tell him how I felt when I sat next to his hospital bed and about the jokes that were made about his tattoos. I would tell him how special he made me feel when he visited me in his house. How proud I was to walk around the zoo with him. How amazing I felt every time we talked. I would also take a minute to SCREAM at my daddy for not telling anyone he had cancer and then how bad it was. I feel huge guilt about my father’s death because you see he my daddy did not tell me how bad his cancer was because I was pregnant and he did not want to stress me. I wonder if he could have gotten different treatment if he got more help. I would ask him a million medical questions about his life and his family’s life so I would know for my own records. I hate going to the DR and saying I do not know.
I would tell him that I am a strong woman, that I am happy. That I miss him, I would smack him for how he treated his body and making it leave before we got more time together.
So many things I would talk about in a afternoon. I would want him to know all about my kids and my husband. He would be so proud of my husband. He always liked my husband. I would tell my daddy thank you for being my daddy and for bringing me into this world. I would tell him that he was always the love of my mom’s life even though they were not together. Oh man, I would hug my dad the entire time, oh to be in his arms again.
If I had an afternoon talk with my dad I would take it slow and hug him (have I said that). I would tell him that I never had any ill feelings toward him. That I understand his life was what it was and I am glad that he allowed me in it. I would tell him thank you for allowing his family the chance to get to know me and be close to me. These are bonds I will always have. I would introduce him to Hope and Grace. Oh man to see my daddy hugging my kids would bring tears to my eyes. I remember my first born crawling for the first time to my daddy.
Dear Daddy,
I love you, I love you more than I ever expressed. I am so sorry that I did not share my love of Christ with you more than I did. I am so sorry that I did not tell you the joy of being safe in your Saviors’ arms. I loved you so much and was so scared of upsetting you (totally me and nothing to do with you) that I failed you in the most important way. Daddy, you were my big strong daddy and I looked forward to spending time with you and only wish we could have seen each other longer. You would love my children. You would love Hope who was born just hours after you passed. She loves to fish and get dirty, one time she used a skinned fish as a puppet. You would have loved it. You would love my Faith who loves to work on the car and build thing.
Oh daddy, how I wish you were here. You are the one person I feel like I can be honest with. I never feared you would stop loving me. I know that I could call you when I was scared my hubby would not make it home safely and you would listen to me cry and comfort me. I know I could explain to you who hurt me and you would make sure they were hurt. I never had a fear when you were in my life because I knew my daddy would take care of them. Our time was too short together and it is not okay. I love you daddy.

Mil Spouse fill in Friday

This week’s questions are:

1. Are you a night owl or an early bird?
Totally a early bird, I wish I could sleep in just once or twice. A couple of times I have slept in until 7am but normally I am a early bird. On the other side I have totally not been able to sleep recently and have been staying up until 11pm

2. What makes you jealous?
When my husband talks about how well he does at work. When people who do not want babies have them, when people on drugs have babies and I can not have babies.

3. Have you started Christmas/holiday shopping yet? Almost done, I have been picking things up the last few months. I hope to be done with all shopping by mid November. I like to have December open for focusing on why we celebrate CHRISTmas

4. What would you have a personal chef make you tonight?
fried chicken, mash potatoes, green beans with banana pudding and maybe chocolate cake

5. Where was your first kiss?
Is it bad that I do not remember. I want to say it was with a boy from my church but I do not remember, that is so very sad. Have I ever told you that my husband is the best kisser (is that a word).

Please don’t forget to add your blog link to Mr. Linky below by clicking on it. But also if you are not participating in MilSpouse Friday Fill-In this week, please do not put your link on there… I will remove it. It is unfair to others who do participate.

Fill in the blank Friday

1. I am... in a better place today than I was yesterday.

2. I wish... I had the guts to stand up for what I believe when I go to the Doctor

3. I like... homemade ice cream, pizza hut pizza, snuggling with my hero in bed, sleeping under 4 blankets

4. I can...not hardly believe my baby girl is going on a camp out this weekend without me. I am beyond nervous but so excited for her

5. I hope.. it is a beautiful weekend and that my boys and my daughter have a great weekend camping out. And that the weather is beautiful

6. I think... I will be nervous until I talk to my personal DR about my thyroid next week.

7. I was... going to refuse to take synthetic hormones at all cost but after talking to 2 pharmacies I realize my hands may be tied no matter what and I should just take the one the DR wants.

What are your plans for this weekend my dears?
Do share!

5 Question Friday

Questions for Friday, October 22: (Special thanks to Pam, Bethany [wowza, Bethany!! you came up with so many good ones, I had a hard time choosing!! Thank you!], Sandy, Katie, and [inspiration from] Wombat for their question suggestions! Do YOU want to be linked in a future 5QF? Do you have any burning questions? C'mon over to my community and offer them up!!)

1. Who is the better cook, you or your spouse? honest my husband probably is. I love baking more than him. But, I do not eat the variety he does so he is willing to use spices and weird ingredients

2. How often do you talk to your mom? a million times a day, if I do not answer when she calls she calls back again and again RIGHT MOM!

3. Are you adventurous in the kitchen or stick to the recipe? oh man, I totally stick to the recipe. It drives me batty if my husband does not. that is why it is a recipe

4. Is your second toe longer than your big toe? nope, is it wrong that I had to look.

5. Do you dress up for Halloween? (Bonus question: What will you be this year?)
nope, we gave up Halloween several years ago.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Doctor update and need some advice

Good morning ladies. I have a lot to say so I will make this simple.
1. Okay now to my doctor’s appointment
a. Office was great and even upset they made me wait 10 minutes (I almost laughed and thought this is great, I am use to waiting forever this is nothing)
b. The doctor walked in and was very nice and pregnant, made a point saying she noticed I noticed she was pregnant
c. She asked why I was here, so I told her. Then asked if she had read my blood results and ultrasound
d. She said yes but what made you get a ultrasound
e. I said that is what the DR said was the next step to get a baseline.
f. She said yeah but now we have to deal with the issues we found, that I have four nodules, that 2 are the size that normal DR’s would biopsy but she said we would just wait 6 months and then re ultrasound. Part of me was happy she did not want to cut into me, part of me was upset she was blowing it off
g. She asked what my symptoms are, so I told her
h. Then she told me that my blood results are almost normal and if I was not having symptoms she would not even medicate me.
i. WHAT- that completely goes against what my DR told me, what I have read on line. I am so confused.
j. She said she was going to put me on meds. That normally you start out at .25 but she was going to start me off at .50. which does not make sense if my numbers are not so bad (according to her)
k. I asked if I should be on any vitamins, that I had read you need certain vitamins to make these meds absorb properly (I had already told her I eat little Debbie cakes and mountain dew for breakfast).
l. She said NO, that in other countries they would say take iodine but we live in the western world and in the western world we get all we need.
m. I asked her if I could be on a natural medicine and she gave me the whole spill on one is the same as the other and she does not see better results with one than the other. At this point I was almost in tears
n. So she listens to my heart and asks if my face is always this flushed, I said no this is new and it happens almost every afternoon or evening.

So here are some of my symptoms:
I freeze constantly. A year ago I kept my A/C on 68 and was warm, this summer I kept it on 76 degrees and was almost chilly. My normal body temp when I was in the hospital for 5 weeks with my last baby was 98.6 now it ranges from96.2-97.5. I have weird pains. Like today my upper right arm and shoulder hurt. One day my toes and knee will hurt, one day my shoulder blades will hurt. Nothing is consistent. My hands and feet are always like ice. I have headaches almost constantly hurts but not like a normal headache, it is like pressure all over my head like my skull is exploding. I have not used birth control since my last baby 5 years ago and still have not gotten pregnant. The biggest issue is I cannot concentrate. I cannot read a book like I use to, I cannot have long conversations because I just fade away or check out no matter what I do. It is horrible and I hate it. We had dinner guest over a few weeks ago and I honestly had to get up and walk away several times because I was so zoning out. I did not want them to think I was ignoring them. I am so stinking tired so often that it is hard to go through the day.

In case you are interested here are some of my basic blood work levels.
Thyroglobul AB 85.1
Thyroid Pero AB 680.1
Tsh sensitive 6.840
FT4 1.03
ESR 26

So I left feeling like I have completely lost my mind. I do not know what to do or think. So the next step is I am going to call my regular DR who was so nice and ask her to review my blood work with me and give me her opinion. I am not going to start the meds she wants me on until I know more. I think I am just really confused as to what to do. Maybe I am making this a bigger deal than it is. If you know anything about thyroid I would love to hear your opinion.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tasty Tuesday

I love this cake pan. I can always surprise a crowd when they cut into it and see. If it is a baby shower it could be pink and purple or blue and yellow. CHRISTmas is green and red. If I ever find this pan set again I will buy another one/

BWS tips button Tempt my Tummy Tuesdays

Gratitude Tuesday

Gratituesday is already here. This week I am writting this at 1:30am. I am setting on my couch with a little girl who had a upset tummy. She came into our bed about a hour ago and said she wanted to sleep with me. Okay, then she asked for a drink and I said NO, go to sleep. Then I heard the sound, you know the sound.
So I run from my room without looking back. Well I did take a second to ask my hero to get her a bowl. Then I came to the living room. A few minutes later she came in. She is okay, she even managed to change her shirt and then empty the dryer so we could fill it with the clothes from the washer. My wonderful hero finished cleaning off our bed and re making it. Then he put all the blankets in the washer.
So this week I am grateful for a husband who knows I can handle just about anything but what happened in my bed and I run for the hills.
I am grateful that after 5 pregnancy's I have only gotten sick a couple of times and each time my hero was there to clean up after me. I mean really cannot deal with stomach stuff.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Mamarazzi Monday

Last week was Grace's birthday. She wanted her brother get a hair cut so he did not look like a shaggy dog and she wanted a trip to Foodlion. So on her birthday she got to take her brother for a hair cut and her daddy took her to Foodlion to grocery shop

Monday Music

Please check out Monday Music
Mondays Music Moves Me Button

Friend making Monday

My favorite Holiday is probably Easter, it gives me a chance to talk to the kids about what Jesus did for us. As they get over I let them watch The Passion. I love how we all get a little more dressed up for church and take pictures. I love how I know that soon after Easter the sunshine will come back out and it will soon be spring. I love how I take a minute to remember how I got to where I am.

miscellany Monday

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters
1. This week after my daughter told me her teddy bear kisses her I told her that if that boy bear kept kissing her I was going to unstuff him.
2. This week my baby girl turned 5 and it was hard, she has came so far and every day I realize how blessed we are to have her.
3. This week my baby girl got left home while the big kids went horseback riding because she had not cleaned her room. I wanted to cry, she is my baby and should get away with everything.
4. We are taking a Bible study called “laugh your way to a better marriage” and can I say it is hilarious.
5. My goals for this week is to start the new Beth Moore bible study called “ So Long insecurities”
Military Mondays Family and Spouse Carnival at Army Wives' Lives

Friday, October 15, 2010

Pregnancy and infant Loss day

In October 1988 President Ronald Regan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss month. October 15th is the offical day.
When we lost our baby on November 5, 1998, almost 12 years ago someone gave
me a card with this poem and it has meant more to me that anything. so I
thought i would share it. the scripture on the front is Job 1:21 and inside
it says:
" I was thinking abut what's ahead for the baby. Can you imagine-it will be
taking its first steps on the streets of Heaven! Hannah was a mother who
certainly knows how special a little baby is. Perhaps she'll be the one who
will let it hold her finger as it takes those first staggering steps; and
maybe she will be the one to coax it into taking it first steps alone!
Perhaps Dorcas will see to it that its hems get let out, and that the
buttons are sewn on that growing child. And Joshua! Just think what it would
be like for a child to climb into his lap and hear-first hand- about the
battle of Jericho!..
Maybe Peter will take it fishing someday! It will never fall out of tree or
breaks it's leg, for there is no pain or tears there! It won;t be afraid of
the dark for there is no darkness there. The King of Kings, the Lord of
Lords, he is the very one who said, "let the little children come to me." I
expect there will be many a time when he himself will take that baby in his
lap and let it know a love that makes all other loves seem puny by contrast.
I wouldn't be surprised if the Heavenly Father keeps a few lollipops handy
for just such occasions....
And one day, you will be greeted with a " Hi Dad and Mom! I've got some of
the neatest things to show you; and some really fantastic people i can't
wait for you to meet."

Answered Prayers


Answered prayers:
I am so thankful that we live in a country where we can openly talk about our Faith.
I have had so many answers to prayer. I could tell you how my husband has returned home from Iraq safely 3 times. I could tell you how he saved my marriage in a time I thought it was unsavable.
Today I will tell you about the day my son was born and did not breathe for several minutes.
Today I will tell you about the day I had a car accident. I was 17 years old on the way home from a school field trip to Washington. I was setting in the back row of the van. I did not have my seatbelt on. I was leaning against the window. The lady who was driving the van was use to driving a stick shift. As we were going up a hill she thought she was shifting but instead she was putting us in reverse and pumping the gas. The van was going up a hill on a major high way. It immediately swerved off the road and flipped over. It first bounced and hit the front windshield cracking it, then the back of the van. At this time the window I was leaning it shattered but instead of falling out it stayed in (making most of the glass to go inside of me). The van stayed on the side where my back was practically touching the ground. It went from the grass field back through the gravel to the highway back through gravel and then stopped on the grass. During all of this my knees fell beside either side of my face, protecting my face (sounds silly but at that age it was a big issue). I was rushed to the hospital where I spent 5 days. My injuries included almost losing my left arm, broken right collar bone, several scrapes and cuts not requiring stitches and having to have fake skin (very similar to skin graft) on my back shoulders.
So now to the prayer. I was the only person in a van filled with teenagers that was hurt. We were prayed for while we were on this trip. Here is where love and prayer came in. I had been dating the same guy for over 2 years and we had recently broken up. He drove to the hospital with my parents (they were 3 hours away). I would not allow him to visit with me (teenage stupidity). He stayed in the Ronald McDonald house for 5 days praying for me. On the day I was released he drove my mom and I home and then visited often. This man that I would not allow to visit with me that I broke up with spent 5 days in a strange town praying for me. I knew this was the man I would marry even if I did not admit it for a few more years.

5 Question Friday

1. What is your favorite Halloween candy? This is a great time to ask, have you seen pumpkin spice hershey kisses in your area and if so will you send them to me? okay my favorite candy is a combo. Mix candy corn with peanuts. make sure you eat them at the same time and it taste like a payday

2. Do you fold your socks? no way no how

3. What is something that you wish you had been warned about? credit card debt, that men really do have a nothing box and when they say they are thinking about nothing they really are thinking about nothing

4. What is the most significant difference between you and your significant other? he is hunky and I am fluffy, he is brave and I am weak, he can quote the Bible back and forth and I do good to find what I need

5. What are three words you would use to describe yourself? (And, just for fun...if your significant other is around, ask him/her what 3 words they would use to describe you!!) outspoken, shy (I am you just do not see that side) and strong

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mil Spouse fill in Friday

please feel free to use the button above!

1. What are some things on your bucket list? (from New Girl on Post) take my mom to Australia, learn to swim under water

2. How long have you been a MilSpouse and where have you been stationed so far? (from Raising Roscoe) 15 years, Fort Campbell, Germany, Fort Campbell, Redstone Arsenal, Fort Bragg

3.What is a list of songs that sums up your life so far? (from Confessions of a Sailor’s Wife)

4. What is your favorite kind of pizza? meat lovers, thick crust with extra sauce. NO VEGGIES

5. What are three good things in your life right now? The endo DR that I will see in a week (I am already believing she will be great), my amazing wonderful husband, the paycheck that arrived this morning

For the Joy of it

My water broke at 26 weeks; I laid in a hospital bed for 5 weeks praying she would stay in. She was born at 31 weeks weighing 2.12 pounds and 14 inches long. She became Neutropenic in the hospital and we were scared. She thrived in the NICU and came home. We struggled to get her to eat, struggled to get her to gain weight. At 3 years old she got sick and was put in the hospital for 15 days with a asthma attack, pneumonia, gastric bleed and 5 ulcers, after 3 years she was put on oxygen for the first time.
BUT, she was healed, she was prayed for. She is thriving, she is growing, and she has no real signs of being a preemie. She is the love of my life, my cuddle bug and spoiled rotten. She is the baby of the family and everyone knows it.

Good, True & Beautiful

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Wednesday Confessions

Today I
feel weak, alone and sad. Today I feel blessed with my the understanding that 5 years ago my God breathe life into my 2 pound baby girl.
I feel sad that I was so awful to my husband this morning.
I feel blessed that my husband puts up with my attitudes and hormones.
I am embarrassed to take my son to the DR because I have to admitt to her that we chose not to give him one of his meds she wants him on. I have a hard time standing up to doctors.

Happy Birthday Grace

Today you are 5 and I just can not believe it. I remember the day my water broke with you. I remember laying in the hospital for 5 weeks praying. Praying that you would stay safe and inside of me. You did for 5 more weeks. I love you so much and thank God every day that you are in my life. You bring joy to us, you keep us hoping and laughing and wondering where you learned everything you know.
Here are some pictures from your first week of life.

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