September 11

My thoughts on September 11th. I know everyone says I know where I was that morning. I do. I was driving to bible study that morning when it came over the radio that it had happened. All of us arrive at Bible study and no one truly believes this is what has happened. I remember for a brief time I stayed in the nursery with the kids until everyone caught on to what had just happened. My husband was away at school for the Army. I do not remember the school. My first thought was, oh no, what does this mean for my family, will my hero be able to come home before he deploys. I often feel guilt for those feelings. I often feel I should have been worried more about what was happening to my country. Please understand I was, I really was. But I was also worried about my family and how this would affect us. I knew that this meant my husband would be deployed to someone rather quickly.
I had a friend who did not have cable. As soon as I left the church to go home a friend called and asked if she could come over watch the news. So the rest of the day we sat in front of the TV watching the news. It seemed so unreal, honestly it still does.
I did hear from my hero but only for a moment. Long enough for him to tell me he knew nothing more than I did and he was not allowed to talk about anything.
My hero did deploy a month later. I feel like that day rocked my world as a military spouse. My hero had deployed to Albania, Bosnia and Kosovo but they were just deployments. I accepted them as part of life. But this deployment seemed real. This deployment is when I learned to fear that I may one day be a single mom, that my husband may not come home.
To this day I still feel pride for our soldiers who are doing all they can to keep up safe. Not only our soldiers but our EMT workers and our police officers and fire fighters. I think sometimes we forget about them. We forget that daily they put their lives on the line for us.
Do you remember where you were that morning? Do you remember what your thoughts were? How has this changed your day to day life?
Pamela