Three Years Ago

Three years, it has been three years. Some days it seems like it has been days and other times I cannot remember a time when they were not with me. I do not speak of this often in fear of hurting there mom. So much has changed over the last three years. James was not even walking when we got him. Got him sounds so silly, we did not just get him. We do not get children. We are blessed to take care of them. We do not know for how long. Rather these blessings come from my body or someone else's they are only mine to care for. Daily, I worry that I am not giving each of my children all that they need and then something happens. Someone ask me to help them with a new Bible verse. Or someone calls me momma or my teen tells me how silly it is when he hears about these deadly games that teens play. Some days it is hard and long and tiring. But every day I am grateful for the day. Three years ago we were blessed with two little boys and every day I am reminded how precious time is. Three years ago we received a phone call from my husbands niece asking if we could care for her boys. I cannot imagine the strength it took to make that phone call. That weekend was one of the hardest weekends of my life. You see we did not only gain two precious blessings but we saw also lost my father in law. He was a amazing man. I lost my dad many years ago. My father in law treated me like a daughter. He encouraged me and protected me when others looked down on me. I miss him so much. I miss that my children will never have a grand father. I look around at all the families at church and see them with there grandfathers and my heart breaks. Then one of those men talk to my child and I realize that God is still God and he is still putting people in my child's life just when they need it. I know this post is all over the place. It kind of shows how my brain thinks when I think back to three years ago this week.