Not me Monday

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This will be the last not me moving edition. I have to start by telling you the worse, I honestly do not chew on pen lids, so I most definilty did not catch myself chewing on the movers ink pen. Not me I would never do that because what if they had chewed on that pen and what if they have a disease, what if they did not wash there hands. After doing such a gross thing, I most definitly have just moved on and not thought for hours rather I should go to the doctor and be tested for I do not know what.
NOt me, I did not throw away my childrens kitchen play toys with promised of buying them new at the new house. I am not now trying to figure out how to get out of my promise because I do not know how we would store it.
We did not spend over $700 on groceries to stock up on new food because I was sure we did not pack much. Only to realize that we had boxes of food. I am not totally embarassed by the amount of food we have in this house.
Since I am a adult and make sure my children left the hotel everyday with coats on it was not me who had to use a pice of paper as a shield so no one saw my frozen nipple running into a building. Not me, because for one I would have been wearing a coat or at least long sleeves when the weather was 25 degrees outside. I am open for suggestions on how to avoid this for the future.

Not me Monday

This is my first not me Monday from the wonderful state of North Carolina. I have tried to keep a list the last couple of weeks but I have not been good at keeping up with it. So let's see where should I start.
First, I have taught my children to be respectful so Grace would never ask the painters at our new house why his pants were so dirty. We are living in a hotel and I have not snuck to the vending machine to buy oreos or chocolate. Because of course I would buy enough for my children and I am not so addicted to sugar that I would never had to do this.
My husband did not call a italian restraunt and get there specials and then drive us to pizza hut and complain that they were not honoring what they said on the phone only to realize later that he had called the wrong place. He has his act together more than that. Last Saturday when we were cleaning like crazy and my daughter slipped in the garage my husband did not tell her we could not take her to the hospital until we cleared housing. We of course take proper care of our children and show compassion and would never say such a thing.
I did not tell Rob that I have a gift card for his favorite restraunt and have him order take out only to realize I had a different gift card when I got there. I of course checked the gift card before ordering the food.
I did not send Rob to the store for silly things to avoid cleaning last week and I most certainly did not leave most of the cleaning to him and use every excuse I could to get out of the house while we were cleaning.
I am always very cautious of how I dress and did not walk into a store with my shirt zipped into my skirt. I do not know if I told you this but it is not my husband who uses vacuming as birth control after seeing that men who vacum have a lower sperm count on oprah.

Not me Monday moving edition

I think I will say this is not me Monday moving edition. First of all, this is my last not me Monday in Alabama. I will not allow it to be I refuse. I am not setting in my chair right now instead of cleaning my house since I know in 6 hours I will have housing and the movers doing a walkthrough of my house. I am always prepared and have everything cleaned and ready. Speaking of not me moving Monday, I did not decide to throw away my girls kitchen toys because they were dirty and covered in glue. I would never be so wasteful and I most certainly will not admit that I know these toys needed cleaned a month ago.
The other day my 4 year old did not say the B word. We were watching a movie about dogs and it said something like how many bitches do you have (I cannot remember where it was produced at). She said oh we have one bitch. I could not believe she knew the word. I am not living in fear that she will repeat this word when we are out. At church yesterday this man did not say “where are you from” I said WV and ask if I had a accent. He then did not say “no, you are just never dressed”. I did not laugh out loud. What he meant was I always wear short sleeves and rarely wear a coat. Of course he would not need to ask me this because I am always dressed for the weather. Speaking of church I did not tell my kids that yesterday was our last time at that church and since it was a special day and we did not have Sunday school I did not make a point of NOT telling anyone it was our last week.
As we are saying good byes I have not been totally stoked that friends and people I do not know well have said they read my blog. I never let my pride guide me. Thanks to all of you. Is there something specific you would like to hear me talk about? I am open for suggestions.
Since we are organizing and getting ready to move I did not feed my youngest countless m&m’s to motivate them to clean daily. I do not have 2 more bags to continue to do so.
Ooooh my this one got me in big trouble this week. The tax office did not tell my husband that we would receive a $250 credit for homeschooling. Because I was so excited I did not facebook about such a wonderful thing to only be put in place by several people. Some nice, some well almost had me in tears. I did not then have to take time I do not have to go have them re do my taxes.
This week I went to a thrift shop and was not asked if I qualified for a senior citizen discount. I did not think this young teenager needed a smack to wake her up. I always have my act together better than that.
Because I am so organized I would never leave early enough for a appointment to have time to stop at the store and then forget to stop at the store and show up 45 minutes early. I am much more organized than that.
After a friend taught me to store money in my bra a couple of months ago, I did not use that education to store my camera lens cap for several hours and then my son’s cell phone. I also did not forget that I had both things there. I would never do either of those things and even if I did I would never admit to it.
How has your week gone, anything you want to share with me. Help me feel normal and tell me the things you did NOT do this week.