Happy Anniversary!

I cannot believe my amazing wonderful, hunky man has stood by my side for 16 years. This year has been crazy, but then again aren't they all. Aren't, is that even a word? If it is, I don't like the sound of it.

Can you tell what we did on our Anniversary. We went to Red Robin and then to the mall. I had been told amazing wonderful things about the guy doing my message. WRONG, not good, I could not move for 2 days and he left my back extremely bruised.
So back to my anniversary. I thought I would share some things about us.
1. We met right before my freshmen/his senior year of high school.
2. We dated for 2.5 years and broke up.
3. I moved 8 hours to get away from him.
4. 2.5 years later he called me out of the blue and we talked for hours and hours. It was a Wednesday morning. By that night we had decided he was coming down for a visit. He came on Friday and never left.
5. We were married the next July in 95
6. He went from reserves to active in Jan 96
7. March 96 we moved from VA to KY
8. Nov 96 I had my first son
9. January 97 we moved to Germany
10. 1997 he went to Kosovo
11. 1998 he went to Bosnia
12. 1999 he went to Albania
13. Nov 98 we had our second son, he was born at 20 weeks, we knew before I delivered that he was not alive
14. Jan 2000 we moved to KY
15. June 2000 we had our first daughter
16. Oct 2001 we bought our first house
17. 2002 he went to Afghanistan
18. October 2002 we had our second daughter
19. 2002-2003 Iraq
20. June 2003 we moved to Alabama
21. 2004 He went to Iraq for the second time
22. October 2005 we had our third daughter, born at 31 weeks after a 5 week hospital stay
23. Sept 2009 he because a Warrant Officer
24. February 2010 we moved to NC
25. May 2010 he went to Iraq for the third time

It seems like I am forgetting a few things. And I bet a bunch of the dates are not totally correct. I have a bad memory.
I love this man so much and cannot imagine him not being in my life for one day.
Pamela

How to keep the spark in your marriage

Recently another blog reader asked about how to keep the spark in your marriage. My response was:Take time for one another, rather it be a date in a theatre or a dinner in your dinning room after the kids go to bed. Knowing his needs and want (love language), is a major help. Maybe he could care less if you clean the house but needs hugs daily. Leave love notes, do a bible study together, take those silly get to know you test together
Believing Boldly published my idea on her blog. I totally forgot she was going to do this. I encourage you to go over and read what other ideas there are. Do you have ideas on how to keep the spark in your marriage I would to hear them.
Speaking of Believing Boldly, is that not an amazing blog name. Why did I not come up with something neat like that?
Pamela

What comes between you and your husband?

When my hero returned home last month I surprised everyone by not telling everyone he was coming home including my old children. So when the kids saw him there were hugs and kisses for what seemed like forever and then finally I got to do this.

While we waited for him to be released for the night I sent this picture out by twitter and facebook. A friend of mine left a comment that has made me think daily about our relationship. She said "There are soooo many things I love about this picture.....y'all are kissing and smiling at the same time.....this really belongs on the cover of a magazine!!! ......oh yeah I also like how y'all are belly to belly with the weapon......Hot! lol"
I bet you are thinking, okay what is making you think? She said you are belly to belly with the weapon. It has really made me think about how much that gun or the Army has been between us. Not only have I been thinking about the Army coming between us but what about all the other things that we let come between us. And all the walls I put up between us before a deployment that I have to struggle to let down. I let facebook come between us, friends, nights out with the girls, me time. What about laundry and the kids, I even let the things that are important come between us and it is wrong. I am determined to put my husband first more often.
So how can I put my husband first? Well I can make sure that I think about him when I make out the menu. My husband will eat anything that is put in front of him (except sweat potatoes) and yet I cook the same meals over and over. I can make a point of listening to him when he is talking about fixing the chain saw or what he wants for his boat. I can make a point of setting next to him in church instead of putting children between us. I can go fishing with him. To me that has to be the silliest thing in the world, why would I want to set on a dock with bugs flying around for no reason. The reason is because it is something that thrills my husband. How do you put your husband first on a daily basis? I would love to hear your ideas. Let's work on this together and show our husbands why they are important.
For now I am going to stay in a camper with my husband for the weekend. A camper with no dishwasher and no internet! But you know what it is worth it because we will be smooching and talking and planning our future and just enjoying the fact that we are together and ALONE.

5 love languages

A friend of mine and I were talking about the 5 love languages yesturday and she said she had not heard of it. I was a little surprised and promised to find her information on it. I wonder who else has read this book. I wonder what your thoughts are on it and what your love language is? I would say mine is acts of service. I think my husbands is words of affirmation. They have some neat quizzes on there site. It is a neat way to get to know your spouse, a neat thing to do on a date with your spouse


Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive

What do you do on a date?

We go to Kroger to buy Ketchup because our house is not okay without it. We did go to the movies to see Sherlock holmes after we bought Ketchup

studying your husband

Have you studied your husband recently, have you takent he time to ask him what his new goals and dreams are?
I am constantly learning things, it seems like I know nothing about my husband some days. As silly as it sounds I do not know all the foods he loves. I have had to ask him several times in the last few years to go grocery shopping because I get in a rutt and by the same foods and forget he will eat anything.
What about shaving cream, I had to ask him a few months ago do you like shaving cream or gel, I had been buying cream because he had one of those warmer things but then he stopped using it. He said he likes the gel better. I never thought about it. I know these things sound silly but have you asked your husband recently what he would like from the store. Not what he needs but what he wants. Have you asked do you like the fabric softner or would you like something different. I think sometimes because they do not tell us what they want we think they do not care.
I really want to try to be my husbands friend again, not just his wife, or his secretary. Please know he is a AWESOME man and our marriage is in good shape. I just want it to stay that way for a long time. Rob looks forward to the kids being grown and having time alone with me. I use to hate when he would say that. But then we talked (honestly he has explained this to me a hundred times). When I think about it I should be so thrilled he would say this. He is really saying that he wants ME. Time with me, time to be together.
Maybe it is because Rob is not here or maybe it is because I am watching Fireproof but I really want to find new ways of making sure my husband knows how much my marriage is worth to me and to make him feel special.
Sometimes we say that there is not time for date nights when we have kids or we can not afford to go out. I want to tell you there is NO excuse. We have found several ways. You can trade childcare with a friend and then you are not paying for it. Or you can put the kids to bed early and turn down the lights and have a quiet evening at home. I have learned that money is not a excuse because for us we have a thousand movies and nothing says you have to have a STEAK dinner. I know if i made time with my husband and served him hot dogs he would be thrilled.
So now that I have babbled I want to hear from you, how do you make your husband feel special, how do you make your husband feel special, how do you make time for your marriage, who is the person who encourages you in your marriage, who teaches you how to be a better wife. I feel blessed that I have had women in my life to support me and encourage me and honestly tell me when I am wrong.