Not Me Monday

Thank you Mckmama for hosting this because man oh man do I always need to vent, confess. It is one in the same right.
First of all it is not my blog that is acting funky and is not centered. My blog knows that I won this layout and paid extra for several things so it would not be acting up 6 months later. It is my blog readers who will surely explain what is wrong to me.
It is not me who is too lazy to go back and see if I have written these because of course I spend hours editing my post.
It is not my 10 year old who has been using scissors to cut the hair on her legs. It is not my 7 year old who kept this secret.
It is not me who hurt her foot 4 months ago and never went to the doctor. It is not me who finally called to get a appointment today and had to be embarrassed that it took 4 months to make one.
It was not my bra that squeaked one day, I mean every time I would move my arms it would start squeaking.
It was not my children who completely took advantage of daddy his first week he was home. It was not my children who realized dad had not checked in and destroyed the house when mom went out for the day. Or my children who ate chocolate cake for breakfast because they knew dad was not paying attention.
It was not a local radio station who encouraged us to buy school supplies and then were not there when I brought them back to give them to them.
It was not my husbands unit who forgot to meet him at his welcome home ceremony or even have someone meet him to turn in his weapon.
It was not my husbands unit who did not give him 10% of his mail while he was returned and then just shipped it back to the states. He will get it evidently.
My four year old did not tell me her dad was red to the brain or that he was ticked off, because she never hears the words "ticked off" in my house.
It was not my scale that said I lost THIRTY did you read that 30 pounds in 24 hours. How dare it mess with my brain that way.
It was not my husband who interrupted my bath, you know the only bath I have taken in 5 years.
It was not my husband who let my son dig in the neighbors trash so that he could get a game.
Hav e a great day ladies.

Not me Monday

Because I am so computer smart I have not had to re do this post. This has been a wonderful crazy, emotional week. It started with my in laws visiting to see Rob before he deploys. Then we took our cat to the vet. You know the stray cat that was given to us. I have been telling everyone she is pregnant and NO ONE believed me. The vet asked me how many kittens we wanted. I did not break down and cry like a baby when the vet told me and then proceed to tell the Vet that DH is deploying and I do not need the stress. I am a better Army wife than that and know how to suck it up and drive on.
I am a gracious host and did not forget to put the good towels in the spare bathroom. I most certainly would not need to do this because we give our children the old thin towels and keep the good ones for ourselves. Of course we give our children good towels.
I did not find a Diet Pepsi under my bathroom sink and ask Rob why in the world he would keep a open Diet Pepsi under our bathroom sink. I know my husband is mature enough to not take Diet Pepsi to the bathroom with him.
Speaking of Diet Pepsi it was not my 9 year old who shyly told us she saw it on the bathroom counter and well just decided to drink it. She did not find Peeps hidden under the sink because I never hide food for my children.
Because I moved out at 17 and say I will never move home it was not me who got teary eyed when watching Jamie Oliver this week and seeing all the places from my home town. I do not now want to go home just to drive around and see all those spots.
Because I have my act together it was not me who got 10 minutes from home before I realized I did not have my GPS and had no clue where I was going. I always check these things before leaving the house.
Okay please do not turn me in but it was not me who begged Rob to let us show several policeman what we found in our car. I am smarter than that and we would never have found a small bag of green planty stuff. I still do not know what it was and Rob disposed of it. I honestly think it is some seasoning packet and not what I originally thought. It is not me who has spent hours wondering where it came from and how it got in my car no matter what it is. I am not totally scared that the police will think we are bad people.
We gave up paper towels over a year ago and now use towels and cloth napkins. This was my choice and it is not me who always takes more napkins at restaurants so I will have them around the house.
Because I can not stand pranks it was not me who pulled April Fools jokes on my children and then dared them to try anything.
Okay Because I am setting here with a sore ankle I will tell you that it was not me who won a cast iron griddle from The Snyder 5 and then dropped it on my ankle. Of course I would make sure that I put a heavy pan away from the edge of the table.
I honestly have a list of not me's that I could list tonight but I am not for two reasons. For one Army Wives is on. And because I need to start laundry because my precious angel keeps hiding her BM panties in the dirty laundry basket. Wait wasn't I suppose to say that she would not do that.

Not me Monday

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Please click on MckMamma's site today, she is in Kenya on a mission trip and it is heartbreaking and encouraging to read. This week my son did not look at a table full of new friends and tell them that to him music sounds like cats dying after they just said music is there lives. He would not do that because I have definitely taught him better.
When the pastor said someone slipped on a grape after church last week I was not concerned it could have been a grape my children dropped because I know I would have cleaned it up.
This week we had snow and because I was enjoying the kids being outside I most definitely did not threaten them with school if they came in. I would never do this.
This week when making my husband a pioneer women recipe I did not read the recipe wrong and think It said cook the garlic for 45 minutes instead of 45 minutes. I was not totally screaming about this in my head.
Our alarm has not gone off several nights this week because we have not learned to use it, after two weeks we surely learned how to work the alarm.
not

Not me monday

I wish I would have kept my list going this week. Because What a list it would be. Let me start by saying thanks for reading our blog. It is so much fun working on it.
So this week, I did not stay in the same shirt for 2 days. I know gross but it was so comfortable and every time I went to get in the shower something would happen. My daughter, my precious 3 year old (OOOPS, still refusing to admitt she is 4) did not get upset with me because I was not wearing a bra.
Because I am so organized and on top of things there is no way I still have 3 pampered chef orders setting next to my door that have been setting there for a week.
my husband and I did not make the world's yummiest pumpkin cake for my husbands work and then decide to keep it at home for us because it was soo good.
Because I am such a good mom I would never let my girls take longer than needed to clean there room just so I could take more and more toys from them.
I did not encourage my son and husband and son to stay out in the cold to collect money for boyscouts, not because I am dedicating to the cause but because the house was so quiet and I was enjoying that, I would never do this.
Since my husband knows how much I want more kids he did not in front of my kids say "if you get rid of one kid you can replace them" we then did not enjoy hearing them try to decide who should go
I was not truelly debating taping my daughters mouth shut this week when she could not stop singing near school, i would never have these thoughts because for one I enjoy hearing it and 2 that is illegal.
For my chilren,
We did not hear the craziest things from our childrens mouths this week. I would never hear these words in my mouth
Prove it, Stop singing, your singing sounds like a dying cat (i am wondering how they know what a dying cat sounds like)
Dad, michael just put toothpaste in Faith's nose
When I grow up, I want to have 2 bra's and a mixer just like you (surely there a better things I do to make her want to be like me)
Last night my daughter did not admitt with a smile on her face that she had a bowel movement in the bath tub. surely she would not, especially after we praised her for going a whole day in panties.
after being a pin cushion for years, Grace's goal is to be a nurse so she can give shots

Okay, I want to hear what flew out of your mouth this week, what your child said, I need to feel normal so PLEASE, PLEASE leave me a message so I know I have not lost it.

Not Me Monday

I did not lie to my daughter by telling her that we were out of pull ups in hopes that she would decide to re potty train. I did not stay in my pajamas for three days this weekend. I did not go outside to talk to friends in my pajamas. I am always dressed with make up and would never be caught without it
A friend did not come over just so we could cry together because I most certainly have my act together and would not need that.
I did not let my son lay in my bedroom and watch discovery channel the ENTIRE weekend, I would not do this because I do not believe children should be allowed to watch so much TV.
Right now my girls are not eating carrots right out of the bag because I am too lazy to make breakfast. I am not also excited because we are meeting a friend for breakfast/lunch because one we can talk and two it means I will not have to worry about lunch.

Not Me today

I did not have to clean the bathtub just so I could take a epsom bath, I also did not wait 2 days to unclog the toilet in my bathroom because I was scared of what would happen. I am way to clean to do either of these things.

Not Me Monday

It is not Monday you say. Oh, I almost forgot. I have decided to not continue to do not me Monday. What I am going to do is when crazy things happen just blog about it then. Plus I can do it from my phone. Plus, I am not trying to keep up with the list.
So watch out for all my not me todays.
Today, I did not convince my son to clean 3 rooms in 35 minutes so I would leave him alone for a hour. I would not con him into doing this when I was planning on it anyways.