Not Me Monday

First let me say I totally was not expecting a not me Monday today. So here it is.
First it was not me who dropped her daughters school hard drive which will cost me another $118 to replace. Especially since we just spent $2300 on school stuff last week. I know how to handle a hard drive and would never drop one.
This is too much information coming from my conservative side but I am going to tell you. My friend just came back from Hawaii and she brought me a gift. It was not me who the first night my husband was home stopped smooching him after the kids to sleep so I could put the gift on display. Any ideas what it would be. Surely I would never stop smooching my husband to do this.
It was not me who lied to my children about there daddy coming home. I know they have looked forward to him coming home and it would have been cruel to have them go to a Welcome Home ceremony and watch all the children hug there daddy and theen tell my children it was time to leave. Not me.
It is not me who has made a excuse for my children to go to bed early every night since my hero has been home so I can have him to myself for a few minutes. Not me, because I know they want time alone with him.
It was not my husband who came home and in a matter of 24 hours explained to me that the printer was not working because I put the cord in wrong or who told me he fixed the van window by pushing the shut button, or that the only thing wrong with the riding lawn mower was that it was out of gas. He would never say these things because it is not me who would not catch on.
It was not me who hid a load of clean laundry in the dryer because I did not have time to put it away (okay okay, I wanted a nap) before my hero came home.
It was not my daughter who took a friend to church and then left her to take care of someone's baby. She is more cautious than this.
It also was not my daughter who has been cutting the hair on her leg scissors. She knows better and would never do such a thing at 10 years old.
It was not me who left my kids and husband alone on his first Saturday to go to a 6 hour American Heritage meeting. Not me because I knew he was going back to work on Monday and wanted to spend time with me.
It is not me who is counting the days until my hero takes my four blessings away for 5 days to go camping while I stay home. I would never want time alone.
It was not my daughter who saw a man jogging without a shirt and before she could stop herself said "that man is FIT". It was not my husband and I who almost laughed before talking to her because we both had noticed the same thing.
My baby girl did not come into my room the other day and say "Dad is ticked off, he is red all the way to his brain". Because for one my husband does not ever get that mad and second we do not say the word ticked in this house.

Okay I honestly have about a million more not me's but I will save them. Like it is not me who let the yard get so out of control that my hero needed to mow grass within days of coming home.