Not Me Monday

Thank you Mckmama for hosting this because man oh man do I always need to vent, confess. It is one in the same right.
First of all it is not my blog that is acting funky and is not centered. My blog knows that I won this layout and paid extra for several things so it would not be acting up 6 months later. It is my blog readers who will surely explain what is wrong to me.
It is not me who is too lazy to go back and see if I have written these because of course I spend hours editing my post.
It is not my 10 year old who has been using scissors to cut the hair on her legs. It is not my 7 year old who kept this secret.
It is not me who hurt her foot 4 months ago and never went to the doctor. It is not me who finally called to get a appointment today and had to be embarrassed that it took 4 months to make one.
It was not my bra that squeaked one day, I mean every time I would move my arms it would start squeaking.
It was not my children who completely took advantage of daddy his first week he was home. It was not my children who realized dad had not checked in and destroyed the house when mom went out for the day. Or my children who ate chocolate cake for breakfast because they knew dad was not paying attention.
It was not a local radio station who encouraged us to buy school supplies and then were not there when I brought them back to give them to them.
It was not my husbands unit who forgot to meet him at his welcome home ceremony or even have someone meet him to turn in his weapon.
It was not my husbands unit who did not give him 10% of his mail while he was returned and then just shipped it back to the states. He will get it evidently.
My four year old did not tell me her dad was red to the brain or that he was ticked off, because she never hears the words "ticked off" in my house.
It was not my scale that said I lost THIRTY did you read that 30 pounds in 24 hours. How dare it mess with my brain that way.
It was not my husband who interrupted my bath, you know the only bath I have taken in 5 years.
It was not my husband who let my son dig in the neighbors trash so that he could get a game.
Hav e a great day ladies.