fear updated

Yesterday I called a counselor that had been recommended by someone in AL, after talking to her for a while she informed me that the first visit needed to be with both parents. When I informed that both parents had to be at first appointment. When I told her we would not have childcare for a long time she said to call her when we did. I asked if she knew of any other Christian counselors and she said NO. I walked into the living room crying and feeling like I would never get the help we needed. A couple of moments later the phone rang and it was her. She had a name of a counselor. So I called and this is how the conversation went
Her: good morning,
Me: explaining why I am calling and do they accept tri care
Her: yes mam, and we even get the referral for you.
Me:WOW, are you taking new patients
Her: yes mam
Me: explaining the last conversation and not having childcare
Her: explaining that it would not be proper for me to leave my children with strangers and how when she moved her 17 years ago and her daughter had a cast and no DR would see her and how she felt lost
Me: crying, and agreeing and feeling safe with her because she understands
Her: we have a play room for children and by the way we have a opening at 4pm
Me: we will take the appointment, crying, excited, nervous, praying
By the way this place is called biblical counseling
Fast forward to appointment
Neat waiting room with toys and puzzles, nothing that I did not want my kids to see
We walk back to see the counselor and he ask questions like
First, is your husband okay with you being the one coming back here.
Me: wow you actually care and understand head of the household
Him: so what brings you here
Me: giving him a 4 page list of our family history and talking about it
Him: so what did you get out of your last counselors, what worked what did not?
Michael: talking and answering some questions, really he is just taking it all in, which is normal for him
Him: so tell me about yours and your husband’s walk with the lord, what kind of church do you go to
Me: thinking wow, crying, trying not to
Michael: playing with the pillow
Him: asking questions and talking about his life
Asking about our goals in life as a family
Him: as we ended he said can I pray with you?
Me: praying, crying, reminding myself of who is in control and that I need to stop trying to handle it all on my own

Over all it was a wonderful first meeting. So they have a normal waiting room and then he has a normal office. But then there are smaller offices that have a ton of window and that office has what looks like a closet (not much bigger) glassed in so if I was talking to the counselor I could see into that room. That room is full of toys and things for the girls to do.
We left and went to target to buy grace shoes and chick fil a for dinner. The counselor will be about 40 minutes away but is totally worth it.