Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A laughable day

What to call this day, old people or what a day. It started with a couple setting in front of me and the women kept picking her eye and then licking it or biting her fingernails and licking it. At one point she lifts the back of her skirt above her waste and sticks her hand down her tights and re adjust her panties. I did not know what to do. I know she knows we were there because she kept turning around and smiling at us. Please know I am not in any way making fun of her. I honestly just kept thinking only me, these things only happen to me. My poor 13 year old was just staring at me waiting to know when he could look forward. Then my daughter tells someone in the fellowship hall that I homseschool other peoples kids. WHAT, so this lady was insistent that I homeschool her 4 year old daughter. When I said no she got kinda annoyed and was doing her best to tell me how wonderful it would be. Honest I was wondering what kind of money I could make. No worries I do not feel like I do well enough with my own 4.

Okay onto the next part of my day. We came home and rob is cooking dinner and I try to make a phone call when I see a elderly man walking up my drive way . his truck was parked in the middle of the road. So I went to the door and the next 25 minutes of my life went like this

Me: hello sir

Him: hi, I found this sock in your driveway and I thought you may need it (I was trying to figure out how he saw a toddler sock in the drive way)

Me: thank you sir, you have a great day

Him: ooh I like these chairs, I am going to take a seat

Me: okay, would you like a drink, are you feeling okay (did I mention he was 83)

Him: what, no I am just going to take a seat, I like your porch

Me: okay, you have a great day then, thank you for bringing me the sock

Him: aren t you going to set down, these are nice chairs, come set down and talk to me. My name is Mr. A and I live right between those houses, do you see my house, it is the white one with a triple driveway

Me: ooh okay (I guess he did not hear me say good bye, honest I love old people so I did not mind at first)

Him: do u see it, it is the one with the big A on the chimney because my wife likes that A so I put it on the chimney

So why do you have KY tags, I saw you had KY tags, are you from KY

Me: no we are military and own a house in KY so we keep it tagged there.

Him: oooh I was in the army in world war ............ and I got hurt so they kicked me out. They did that then, if you got hurt they just kicked you out, they do not do that now but they use to just kick you out and well another 5 minutes of war

Oooh this is a nice area and here is some of the things I learned about this area

1. This subdivision is 16 years old but my home is 17 years old and my home is on a concrete slab but not his, his house is set up just like mine though

2. This subdivision was started by a drug seller but he is in jail now, although he should have been shot in the head (his words not mine)

3. That street right there is owned by the state, I did that, they have to take care of it and if they do not then call the Sherriff, if someone is speeding I need to ask them to stop and then write there number down and call the sheriff, if someone is loud then call the sheriff. (by the way we called the police before moving in and this is really a no crime area)

4. The school bus now comes in our subdivision because of him and they will stop right in front of my house (did not even get into homeschooling, I was trying not to talk)

5. This is a safe area and soon you will see lots of people out walking, no one takes your kids or does anything

6. That house right there was broke into a few times but that was a contractor and the sherriff took care of it

7. They are building 11 houses at the end of the street but after that they are building 10 more and when they are done I will make sure have the school bus.

Okay I learned some other things, I learned how to get to the post office and the water company and the electric company and 2 different dumps (because I am paying for trash but I should not be). I know where a vet is, I know where the bridges are and the bus stops and the walmart and the church. He does not go to church but his wife does. He does not know how many people go because he does not go only his wife. But it is a country church where everyone shakes his hand.

He was coming over the sale me something but he can t remember what, let me think, ummmmmmmmmmmm let me think, ooh I remember it was tickets for a pork dinner. But no worries because next week he picks up tickets for a chicken dinner and since he sales over 300 tickets for the thrift shop he will sell me some. Ooh and there is antique sales coming up, just look on the side of the road.

I learned how nice the people are and if I walk around our circle it 1.5 miles long. The dogs are nice in the neighborhood are nice and the man in that house down the street, do u see it that white house. He found 4 copper heads in his back yard. But I do not have to worry about that, it is because there are wet lands around here.

Ooh and I can burn my rubbish in the backyard but I need a permit but he only gets a permit if he is going to be dangerous. Ooh and if you get a speeding ticket you might as well hire a lawyer. That is what he did last year when he got his first speeding ticket.

Oooh I could go on for what seemed like hours. The poor man kept talking so fast he would start stuttering and then he would say hold on I am stuttering and get quiet and then start again. He reminded me 10 times of where he lived and that if I am out walking I have to stop by to talk. His wife is very nice. We realized we both are originally from WV. WV is a wonderful place to live and raise a family but you cannot make money there. If you work 20 hours a week that is good money. He made good money when he worked there. He worked on the river for 25 years. He was cracking me up. When I finally came in I looked at my husband and said did you not think to rescue me. He said ooh I thought you were on the phone. And he had not noticed the truck parked in the middle of the road.

Can someone tell me why I cannot have 2 minutes alone in the bathroom but no one walked outside the whole time I was there. Okay I am going to go make dinner with the meat my husband forgot about on the grill because he was playing on his laptop eating doritoes
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