Recently my father in law passed away. Something I do not want to think about right now. Anyways, I have been dying to tell you about the viewing.
Please know that what I am telling you is in total respect and my children are not nuts.
You see we teach our children that when you die you are in heaven. We know poppal well and know his walk with the Lord so the thought of where he is never worried us and brought great relief. So we talked to our children about where poppal was and told them they could say good bye. They had never been to a viewing or funeral. They let the family come in the hour before hand. This is how our evening went. First Faith was caught touching poppal’s mustache. She told her daddy that she always wanted to touch it. A few minutes later Hope walked up and so I walked over to comfort her. She was rubbing his hand and then she lifted it out of the casket. I gasped. I said Hope, honey you cannot do that. Do you understand that this casket is on a small table and if you are not careful we could knock the casket over and poppal would fall out? Her reply about sent me into the gasping for air laughing. She said “MOM, HE IS ALREADY DEAD”. Several times that night we caught Faith walking up to poppal, she would rub his head, touch his hair. I also kept finding her talking to the funeral directors (we had four). If you know faith you know she is very social so it did not surprise me. A couple of days later the main funeral directory came to the house to drop of flowers. We were talking about it and he said he has never seen children ask so many real questions. So many technical questions. My husband said told him be glad they did not have scalpel they may have tried to dissect him. I guess between being honest about death and homeschooling it was too much to ask of them.
On a side note did you know that you can now send memory blankets instead of flowers? I thought that was a wonderful touch.
Have you taken your children to a funeral and if so how did they act, how did you prepare them for it?
Pamela
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5 comments:
ur kids r so real. love them all.
Actually, we just came home from my Grandma's funeral. This was not the first time my daughter has been to a funeral, but it was probably the person who was closest to her that has died.
My other Grandmother passed in March of last year. At that one, my daughter viewed my Grandmother then she sat and listened at the service.
This time, she actually cried. She was upset. Then in the service, she started getting antsy.
However, in both cases, I did keep her from sitting with other children. So since yours have siblings around, that help fuel their questions and "entertainment" I'm sure. :) lol
You know my first husband passed when Skylar was an infant and my oldest was 2. Then when she was younger than Grace a great aunt passed away and we sat in the back of the chapel and they played Blue Grass Gospel so Skylar was kinda dancing in her pew. Again she was really too young to explain anything. Last fall my moms husband of many years died from lung cancer. I was no close to him because of something that happened when I was 18 but I am sure with all the visits to my mom she had encountered him and even the last visit we had in April of 2010 when he was diagnosed with Stage 4 she remembers helping him feed horses and talking to him. When he passed I just explained that Johnny had died. His soul was in Heaven taking the walk with God and that his body is on Earth to stay. She seemed to accept it but anyone that has really gotten to know Skylar knows she can come out with the most profound things sometimes like its another older soul inside her. She asked me why I liked Planes and Jets and I told her that my dad was an Airforce and Commercial pilot. I saw a Jet one day when we were walking and it always takes me back and makes me in awe.. She just says maybe your dad is up there flying in a Jet with angels. I giggled at the thought and told her that was nice. So now when I see Fighter Jets I imagine my daddy the pilot with Angels maybe Co-Piloting our current service members into safety. I love when kids are curious and ask honest, truthful, curious questions thats how they learn.
I don't know if this has as much to do with homeschooling as much as it has to do with the age and just smart kids. When I was in 6th grade my grandpa passed and I remember acting in a similar way. Asking questions and touching him. It's hard the frst time you experience death. I think there is no way to prepare other than going to more funerals and getting used to it. I'm 26 and still don't like them and have questions and want to touch the people... mabe as proof they're gone?
When mom died I took Charlie, Henry and Gary to the viewing and funeral and like the two of you we felt no need to shield our children from the realities of living and dying. They were full of crazy questions that actually relived stress for us during the toughest times. I swear I could almost hear my mom laugh at some of their remarks. It was amazing how open and honest your children can be with you when you have real talks about real life. Being a mom is the greatest job on earth even in the worst of times.
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