Saturday, May 8, 2010

A letter to my first born

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Okay I know the assignment is to write to our first born. But you see I have a neat story. When I was 12.5 years old and yes the .5 makes a difference. I rode my bike to the local Red Cross to take the babysitting class. I loved it and when it was over I begged to be allowed to stick around and volunteer. They allowed me to. One day there was a phone call from a lady looking for a babysitter. I convinced her that I was almost 13 and that I was mature and promised to take care of her children. She accepted me and I started almost instantly. The mom was always there at first. She would rest or maybe clean a room while I was there. I would go to restaurants with them and think this is so crazy to be paying me to do these things. I know think man that was the smartest mom ever. When I first started there was a 4 year old boy and a 4 month old girl. I fell in love with these two children. Very quickly I began to feel like these were my children. There mom taught me how to be a mom. She was always kind to me even when I did stupid things. I remember I was swinging the 4 month old in the backyard and kicked the 4 year old causing a horrible bruise. I was sure I would be fired. I remember her delivering her third baby, a baby girl.
I learned so much with these precious children. They were so smart, brilliant in my eyes. I wish I could express how much I love these children. You notice I do not say loved. I still love them. I still talk to the family and regularly talk to the 4 month old who by the way is now 22. Several years ago she started spending time with me. It is a long story but my son has a black mark on the side of his head from a plastic airplane (we call it his tattoo) and she tried to bleach it off making it blister. I could not be mad because it so sounds like something I would have done.
So today I want to write to my kids from there goo goo (the name the youngest gave me that is still used today by the whole family). Thank you guys for being my test run, for teaching me to love, for teaching me to be patient, for teaching me about movies like Mary Poppins and Fiddler on the Roof. Thank you for hugging me when I arrived, for crying when I left, for running out of the gym to say good bye, for teaching me to be comfortable in a pool, for giving me hopes and dreams. For teaching me to be a mom. I can honestly say that had you not been in my life I would not be where I am today. I love you guys more than you will ever know. While it breaks my heart that you have struggled thank you for showing me that you are strong and have come out better on the other side. I am so proud of all three of you.
To their mom, thank you for loving me, for allowing me to be part of your children’s lives. You taught me how to love and trust and take care of others. The confidence you gave me in myself is something I would have never had without you. Thank you for teaching me about safe sex or at least bringing it up, it showed that you cared. If it was not for you keeping me busy I would never be where I am today. Thank you for raising your children to be the children they are today. Thank you for teaching me that life and marriage are not always easy but to keep trying. You stuck it out through rough times in marriage, through job changes and life changes. You taught me about home schooling, you taught me how to encourage your children. Thank you for giving me a life. Without you I would have been running the streets doing things I do not even want to think about. I love you almost as much as I do my own mother. Just so you know you I have always wanted to be you when I grow up. You have done a amazing job with your babies and I can only hope that I am as open with my children, that my children feel like they can talk to me the way yours have talked to you. I will never be able to thank you enough for the ways you have changed my life.
Love, Goo Goo

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