Monday, May 3, 2010

My Top 10 – What’s Tough About Being a Military Wife

Wives of Faith MilSpouses Rock
What's tough about being a military wife
1. sleeping alone tonight
2. knowing it is only safe to relax between 10pm-6pm because you know they do not make notifications between those hours
3. Making friends because you have to prove to others that you are worth it, you have to give others a chance to know you are trustworthy
4. holding your husband when he shakes in his sleep
5. telling your children everyday that daddy loves them and will be home one day
6. keeping up with both sides of the family when your husband can not. I have amazing wonderful in laws but I do feel like I have to work harder than most wives to keep our relationship close
7. trying to keep up with all the childrens activities and making sure they do not have to miss anything when dad is wrong
8. keeping the love alive while my husband is alive, I know some people say absent makes the heart grow fonder but honest it is a job. A job I love and am glad to have but truthfully it can be hard. He can not talk about his day, he can not talk about his job. So it can be a one sided conversation.
9. fixing the van, fixing the locks on the door, fixing the chairs when they break, fixing the bank account to make sure there is money in there for him all the time
10. did I say sleeping alone, or grading spelling test alone or tucking the kids in at night or fixing dinner every night alone.
11. yeah I know it only said ten but this is the biggest one. I find it beyond hard to balance life with what I tell my husband. You see as a millitary wife you are taught to not burden them when they are away. I did this our first few deployments and then it dawned on me that he was coming home to a house and family that changed and he did not know. This is part of why I write to him daily and say silly things like I paid this bill.

okay, this carnival has been fun and I have really enjoyed reading everyone elses answers. I do think we need to be positive so while I list all of the negatives there are many positives. Like how every time he comes home from a deployment I feel like a school girl who is in love. I love how he hangs on my every word when he calls home because he wants to know how we are doing.
Please head over to Wives of Faith to connect with other wives.


Jessica said...

Great list! I forgot about some (keeping contact with both sides of the family, and #11)

thanks for sharing =)

hope your having a good day!

chrysanthemama said...

I love, love, love your blog layout! Great list, stay strong!

ebony said...

Your list is very sincere and touching, love the honesty.

Becky said...

Great list...communication is such a tough one. I know some couples that excell at communicating throughout being deployed, I'll honestly say that we're not one of them. We have to work at it. I have to work hard at not getting frustrated when I ask him how his day is, and the answer I get is "Same as always...nothing really changes." Granted, he is having a very "boring" deployment at the moment which is fine with me, but sometimes it feels like the conversations are one sided. I've taken to, as well, emailing with the: I did this, fixed this, paid this bill, this is what's going on here, etc. and it's actually made a big difference. He feels more a part of my life and that's important to me. :)

Kathryn said...

really great list. Number 6# is a good one, I deal with that as well.

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