Mother's Day Mania

Today's topic is birth stories. I will give you the short version
baby #1 went in at 42 weeks for a check up, because HELLO I was over due. I woke up at 3am and knew I was in labor. Went to my appointment at 7am, they agreed I was in labor and was willing to keep me. I said no way and went home. I stayed home until after 5. We finally made it to the hospital and the DR ask if a intern can check me. The intern says I am 8 cm. The DR said nope, first time moms do not come in laughing at 8cm. So she checked me and I was 9-9.5. Soon after I started pushing which took over 2 hours. Then he was born with all the normal tearing and craziness. Michael did not breathe for over 4 minutes but that was because of equipment malfunction. He spent 3 days in the NICU and came home.
remind me to tell you about my husband telling the NICU nurse he likes his things shaken not stirred.
Baby #2 German hospital, 20 weeks pregnant. I was induced because the baby had been gone for 2 weeks. I kept telling the DR that he was coming and they kept telling me it was too soon. Finally they tried to get me to walk down the hall to go to a delivery room (I was in the mother baby unit but it held any women with female issues and there was another lady in my room. a older DRUNK lady). I did not make it to labor and deliver and delivered in the same room I found out he was gone in.
Baby #3 I was told at 2-8 weeks she was not viable, at 20 weeks I was told she would not make it to 28 weeks which then they said was viability. I held her in until 35 weeks. I went in once a week for a US and twice a week for non stress test. They said she would be born with downs and one kidney. She does not have downs and has two healthy kidneys. I was induced with Faith and I went from nothing to post delivery in ONE hour. No one believed me when I said she was coming because nothing showed up on the screen. I DEMANDED they check me and by that time she was crowning.
Baby #4 normal healthy baby born at 40 weeks. I again was induced and again had to call and tell them something was going on. They said they were going to give me a epidural and break my water. I said nope she is here. Again nothing on the monitor and no one believed me. I set up to get the epidural and honest she about fell out. I delivered half standing in my bed. When it was over they took me to the OR to be checked because "no one should deliver in that position". I remember the DR laying his head on the side of my bed and saying I am normally not scared and that scared me.
Baby #5 my water broke while I was napping at 26 weeks. I rushed to the hospital where they informed me that the test was negative and my water did not break. They called my OB and said I was urinating on myself. I said ARE YOU CRAZY, I mean every time I move I was gushing. They sent me home and said if it did not stop in a couple days the DR could try to move the baby or give me meds. So I set on my couch until Monday morning legs crossed (except when I drove myself to the store to buy depends). I went to the dr on Monday. I was in stir ups when the DR went to check me he stopped and just looked and said your water broke. I then drove myself to the hospital (I think he thought my DH was in the parking lot). I was admitted, given a PICC line the next day (I really do have bad veins, not like people who think they do, I really do). I did not contract until the day I delivered but I did start bleeding 2 weeks later. At 31 weeks I went into labor. I started having contractions and was given something to stop them. Then for some crazy reason there was a nurse change in the middle of the night and this nurse was well just useless. I called and said I was having contractions. Now there was a BIG note on my chart that contractions do not show up on machine. She told me I was not. I called DH to come to the hospital. The contractions came hard and fast and I knew Grace was coming. I kept telling her she HAD to check me and she refused because nothing was on the monitor. Finally she checked me and I said well, she told me she did not know what was going on and someone else would be in to check me. She left and came back with 2 nurses. Long story short, my husband watched and this time when I opened my legs he saw a hand sticking out. They quickly start prepping me for a C-section and I kept saying there is no time she is here. My OB walked in and they are telling me that I am almost ready (cath and second IV) and I said HELLO she is here, He luckily listens to me and checks. He then pushes her all the way back in and lets her deliver (I would deliver 10 more babies than go through that). Then they rush off with her. He gives me staydul because my placenta is stuck. But does not have time to wait for it because I am bleeding too much. I was in the anti pardem with NO equipment (another big issue that got LOTS of attention after I was ok). So he gets the placenta out which is another whole story. He walks out of the room and the nurse says I need to get out of bed because they need to clean the bed. I lost enough blood that they thought I was getting a blood transfusion. So I set on the potty chair that was kept beside my bed. The next thing I know the nurse smacks me in the face (with love) she did not know I had been given stay dul (now we are in the middle of the real shift change and fur is flying because my room was not equipped, I am out of it). It was kinda funny, she felt horrible and I had no idea what was going on.
Let's just say I am the least complaining nicest patient you will ever have but I keep you on your toes and definitly give you lots of paperwork to do